Do you know what I did a week after I signed up for the June 9th Wasa Lake Triathlon?
I quit the triathlon.
Yeah, baby! I quit.
I had one of those life moments when reality hits. One of those moments when the to-do list and the self-imposed pressure comes crashing in. Do you know those moments?
And instead of sleeping, I found myself awake at 4:30 in the morning worrying about all the things I need to do in the next month. I have two big work deadlines the week after June 9th. I need to get “real” rides in, but my bike is still hanging from the roof of the garage. I need to get to the pool more. I need to practice on open water. I need to rent a wetsuit. I have two weeks of work travel between now and June 9th (which means no bike and no pool). It also means a lot of time away from my kids. The weekend of June 9 I do not – do not – want to be away from my kids.
Nothing earth-shattering. Just my version of the life-list that everyone has.
Through all this… work, training, life…I also need to sleep and rest. I need to not be awake hyperventilating in my kitchen at 4:30 in the morning.
So after a tearful conversation with my husband (which I’m sure he really appreciated at 5:00 a.m.), I quit the triathlon.
Immediately I was flooded with relief. The entry fee already paid doesn’t matter. Our portion of the cost of the condo rented in Kimberly for triathlon weekend doesn’t matter.
What matters is the balance. The God-forsaken, ever-tentative, teetering life balance. There are other triathlons at better times for me. In fact, it wouldn’t matter if there wasn’t another triathlon. The road, the pool, and my bike are always there. The point is to simply use them. And feel the rush and enjoyment of my body strong and in motion.
So do you know what I did right after the tearful, 5:00 a.m. conversation, as my breathing calmed and I physically felt the pressure lift?
I slipped on my running shoes.
I stepped outside into my quiet neighbourhood. It was just starting to rain.
And I ran.